Baby Equals B-Listed

"Having a baby changes everything" is a popular slogan from a well-known medical company.

How true that statement is. I "knew" that going into pregnancy, but I didn't really know it until I became a mom. A lot of those changes were easy to swallow- some were hard, and some are still hard. The most difficult change to accept, and the one I really couldn't imagine even occurring was the change in friendships.

Sure, I knew I'd have fewer opportunities to go out with my girlfriends and on some occasions I'd have baby in tow, but I didn't expect to feel like I got B-listed. Equally as bad is seeing it happen to my husband.

The diminishing phone calls, the forgotten invites, the unheard-of get-togethers, the list goes on. What hurts the most is knowing that I haven't even been thought of.

I feel like I have to almost beg my old friends to go out with me (alone- not with the baby even!) I can't remember the last time I got invited out- usually I'm the one who sets up a "girls' night out."

I turned 40 this year. I sent out a clever invitation to my friends- new and "old." Only one out of my three closest BFFs even responded. One complained, "Why does it have to be that night? I have a meeting." Another never even acknowledged the invitation. A fair number of my newer (mom) friends couldn't do it due to husbands working late, childcare needs, etc. I ended up cancelling. Not having that party hurt so much, yet it was too painful to think about holding it with so many people unavailable and my best friends seemingly off the radar.

I hear about one friend's news through another. I hear about tickets to events after they've been purchased. I see a friend of my husband's pictures from multiple "outings" that he's never been invited to. Pictures from a friend who is constantly too busy to visit or "never make(s)plans."

So in a year of less sleep, impossible changes, incredible happiness, dreams come true and more "work" than I ever could have imagined- in a year when I've needed and wanted my friends more than ever, I've never felt more alone.

Never felt more B-listed.