The Best Day Ever

My son and I were sick all last week. He started out acting miserable and cranky (for no clear reason at that point) and then went downhill from there. Of course, my ever-patient self was missing that day, and since I couldn't "see" what was wrong, I had no strength to put up with his whining.

But I did, of course. I'm the mom. And I was not about to put him or myself out on the fire escape. I was able to hold it together.

Things went from bad to worse and we both ended up being sick. Me, most likely with a minor flu. 

Eric, most likely just a cold and teething. 

And not sleeping through the night. 

I was exhausted. And all I could think was that because we were both so miserable, I couldn't enjoy him. And I really, really missed that.

But a new week dawned with both of us recovering (and Daddy not catching the worst of what we had!) and I was ready to GO!

Monday was a bitterly cold, windy day in NYC- for the spring. A day made much colder due to the fact that it *was* spring and should have been sunny and warmer. We were briefly out. And then we were in. Not so much fun. And trying to keep the TV off was next to impossible.

Tuesday arrived with the promise of a sunny, spring day. So we headed downtown (I had an errand to do) to my old neighborhood.

This was my last neighborhood in NYC as a single woman. While I was living there (in Greenwich Village, in my dream apartment) I began to finally be true to myself and claim my life as my own (there's a long story behind that- another day). I took risks and chances- making new friends, dropping "friends" that really weren't. I allowed myself to be truly happy- and truly sad if that were the case. 

I began loving my life as it was. Not an always easy task for a 36 year-old with no "prospects" on the horizon. But I did it. I made friends at work. I went to happy hour. I volunteered with NYCares. I did work at Ground Zero. I went out every Saturday night and enjoyed life. I had my heartaches and rejections, but something in me changed, and I refused to let those things get to me.

Then suddenly, I met my husband. We met, fell in love and got engaged in four months. When we got married another 4 months after that, we couldn't stay in my tiny apartment, so it was good-bye to the Village.

Now, 4 years later, here I was, going back to that neighborhood with my 18 month-old son. I took him to the park on the same street where I had lived alone. He ran around and climbed on the equipment, went down slides, swung on swings for over an hour in the playground adjacent to the tree-canopied benches where I used to sit alone with a book. I walked him on my old block, marveling at how much my life had changed. 

I remembered walking home alone after nights out with friends at about 3 in the morning (my mom would kill me if she knew); the many afternoons of walking that same block on my way home from work. The laundromat where I used to drop off my laundry each week. The cafe that had amazing coffee and a surprisingly good menu where I'd once met a blind date. The great Chinese food place that was now a nail salon....

I walked with Eric, pointing out my old building and the windows of my old apartment (#2F), as if he could process it all. I showed him Mommy and Daddy's favorite restaurant and talked about the different shops and people we passed. Mainly, I just looked around in silent amazement. So many things had changed- so many had stayed the same. 

The last thing Eric and I did was go get a hamburger at a place I used to go to when I first moved to the city- also in the same neighborhood. I have a few memories there, and the ones that come to mind are tinged with some loneliness and maybe even some hopelessness. Being there with my son, I realized I'd come full circle and completed some of the lessons I've needed to learn in my life. I also realized that I'd had a really, really good life- warts and all.

As I sat with Eric, helping him with his burger and fries, my phone rang. It was Daddy. I found myself saying to him, "We've been having the best day ever. And it's just an ordinary day."

But, really it wasn't. We were both better. The sun was out. Spring had finally come. And I realized for the first time how far I'd come in 5 years. I looked back on the bad times and knew that I was thankful for even them, because they just make the "now" even sweeter.